Seems he was driving north on 59 when an off-duty Harris County deputy had the gall to follow him as he wandered from shoulder to shoulder and lane to lane. So, we’re guessing, in an effort to preserve his personal space, the defendant almost ran that nosey off duty deputy off the highway. Finally, as they entered the city of Sugar Land that interloping off duty cop was able to get some help when a city cop stopped the crisscrossing driver. Now you know ... he was not under the influence!

He was not intoxicated! He said so. He testified .. he had a bum knee and was feeling poorly.

Poor guy, after his stomach and his knees failed him, then his lungs wouldn’t work either. Seems he was unable to push enough wind from his lungs to register on the Breathalyzer. Yep, a real tragedy. So he went to jail anyway.

To add insult to injury while this mullet was on the witness stand the prosecuting attorney asked if he had ever been in trouble before ... of course he said no. Well then ... imagine his bad luck when she produced three prior convictions for DWI. When asked again if the matching photographs and fingerprints were him...umm, he couldn’t remember that far back. Yep, 2000 was a long time ago! Don’t ya hate it when that happens?

About an hour later the jury came back with his fourth conviction. (He is eligible for probation when it’s time for sentencing by the way.)