There had better not be any crime in Sugar Land….. I have often said that Sugar Land has way too many cops. I say this not because I want to commit crimes, but because I want my taxes to go down. Drive by any crime scene or even any traffic stop, and you will see 4-6 Sugar Land cops like they have nothing else to do. I believe they ought to station themselves in Police Chief Doug Brinkley’s neighborhood as he was robbed recently, or in Mayor Jimmy Thompson’s driveway as he was jacked not long ago. Mayor Thompson thwarted the robbers by rolling under his car. The most embarrassing thing about this robbery was that he only had $32 in his wallet. That’s about what I carry around.
I have definitive proof that Sugar Land has too many cops as I was stopped on my way home from the grocery store Thursday night. I couldn’t believe I was pulled over as I was going under the speed limit. When I asked the nice policeman why he was stopping me, he said I was weaving within my own lane. Since I was driving a full-size Tahoe and had only a few inches on either side of my vehicle to fit in the lane I said, “I was not!”
The nice policeman said as he noticed my oxygen tubes in my nose that the streets were slick and he was wanting to make sure that I was okay. When he said that streets were slick, I said, “No they’re not!” I later checked and Sugar Land had zero precipitation that night, except maybe for all the sprinkler systems that continue to water the streets even when we, the hoi polloi, are under voluntary or mandatory rationing.
Then the nice policeman wanted to see my drivers’ license which I couldn’t get out of my billfold because of the hand neuropathy that I told you about before. He had to extract the drivers’ license from my wallet himself.
About that time another Sugar Land policeman arrived at the scene. “Did you have to call for backup?” I said, as my groceries lay melting in my back seat. He grinned sheepishly as he went back to his police unit to check to see if I had any priors or outstanding warrants. When he returned my drivers’ license I reiterated to them that Sugar Land cops don’t have enough to do to be stopping 72-year-old ladies out buying groceries at a time when she knows there will be an electric cart available instead of being checked out to all the fat people.
I did have on a turban to hide my new hairdo. This turban may have been mistaken for a “doo rag.” And I had on top of the turban a hot pink “pimp” hat. Later I was telling a friend that I thought I had been profiled for my pink hat. Seven-year-old grandson Jack was sitting in the back seat and heard this whole story. Later he told his mother that “BeBe” had been stopped by the Sugar Land police and they had to call for backup. He thought it was a hoot that the Sugar Land police are afraid of his BeBe.
But let this story serve as a warning to you. Don’t go to Kroger’s on Highway 6 at night wearing a hot pink hat.
Old friends…..By the way, while there I ran into Jim Stokes who briefly served as Republican County Chairman. He was at Kroger’s because Randall’s across the street had made him mad over a $1.38 quart of milk.
I was not surprised as I have had experience with Jim’s frugality before. At one point, even though candidate filing fees are used by the party to pay for their primaries, he tried to avoid paying his filing fees by collecting signatures. At the last moment he discovered he didn’t have enough signatures in order for his name to be on the ballot. Served him right, although he is a likable chap.
In a previous column I said I was not going to write my column any more because I didn’t feel like going to parties and galas and collecting dirt–put in a nicer way–gossip. But I have discovered that no matter where I go even if it’s to Kroger’s for groceries late at night, I’m going to run into something or somebody that gives me fodder for a column. Ain’t life grand!!
B.K. Carter is the owner/publisher of the Fort Bend/Southwest Star. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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